The Eulogy of Gabriel Daniel Yslava, my brother, a good man.

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My brother, a good man

On behalf of my nephew Taylor, my mother Yolanda Yslava, my father Daniel, and his wife, Lucy.  I, Francesca Delisle, Gabe’s sister, along with my husband Ricky and our 3 children, would like to welcome you to this mass in honor of my brother, a good man.  And to thank you all for being here for us in our greatest time of need. 

Gabriel Daniel Yslava was born on May 21st, 1980, to Daniel and Yolanda Yslava.  He joined my parents and me and made our little family complete.  From the onset, Gabe was a cuddle bug and extremely playful.  He was three years younger than me, but I fell in love with him completely.

Mama's Pride and Joy

He was a mama’s boy through and through.  My brother adored my mother, and my mother adored him.  He was the boy my father always wanted and needed.  All three of us were in love with this bundle of joy, who had a smile from ear to ear that lit up his whole face.

He exuded joy and playfulness; the bonus was that he also adored me.  So, he let me get away with almost anything.  He was my little doll: I dressed him up, and I made him be the baby when we played house, usually the baby girl.  I picked nearly every game we played. We were always in the dirt playing with cars, making mud pies, and running around.

Christmas Presents

My brother loved match cars.  He would create big track scenes and zip them around. My grandpa, Pedro Gomez, made him this big match car holder out of wood.  It could hold hundreds of cars (or that is what I thought at the time).  Gabes' big goal at that moment was to fill every one of those holes with a car.

My first memory of what Gabe wanted to be when he grew up was a police officer.  He would put this little uniform on, hat, utility belt, and arrest us.  For Christmas that year, Santa brought him a kid-sized police motorcycle. Suppose you could just imagine his delight and glee.  Take a moment.

Close your eyes, now imagine Gabe.  Do you see him?  Keep your eyes closed.

Imagine him as a little kid.  He had a full head of thick black hair, big and sparkling brown eyes, and a smile that covered his whole face. Do you see his smile?  See how his entire face is shining!

Now imagine that day when he received that motorcycle on Christmas.  His whole face lit up; his grin was bigger than you could imagine.  He jumped on that motorcycle and immediately rode it around.  That was Gabe that was my baby brother, full of love and life.  That was the boy I fell in love with!  Now keep that picture of him in your heart.

School Days

He started school at Liberty Baptist in San Jose with me.  He was a phenomenal student.  Reading came easy, and he made the dean’s list consistently.

I remember being so mad when he finally learned to read.  When we were watching TV, my dad told us to take turns.  He would want to watch cartoons when it came to his turn.  I would “read” the TV guide and tell him, “See? Cartoons aren’t on, but Silverspoons is on.”  It worked all the time well… until he learned to read!

As he grew, he did all of the things a boy would do.  He played ball on teams that my dad would coach.  He was rough and rugged, always playing some sort of game and wrestling.  He loved wearing shorts and hated showers during his younger years.

Our Little Sister 

Our God sister Marilyn came to live w/us a few different times when we were growing up.  Her silly, loving ways had us hooked.  Gabe and Marilyn were so close while we grew up.  I can honestly say she was his first best friend.  They both have such a sensitive and loving nature; they have just always clicked.  Even after leaving our house, they always stayed close.

In 1985, we moved to the house in San Martin.  We got horses and a really ugly hairless Chihuahua that we named Harry.  Gabe loved it!  We had a creek that ran the length of the property.  We would spend hours playing outside in the dirt exploring, catching frogs, making frog egg pies, pretending we were explorers.

Life was good in San Martin.  As he grew, he got more into video games.  But like everything, our parents monitored how much screen time we had.  They would “shut off” the TV when they weren’t home.  But of course, we figured out how they shut it off.  Our summers were filled with outdoor play, biking around, summer school, and of course, watching where there is a will; there is an "A" way too many times!

Gabe also had the daunting task of doing a ton of yard work.  Thank God he was the boy.  He was the one on the tractor helping my dad.  He weeded, dug holes, planted, and helped with virtually everything outside, plus working on the cars.  Because of all that hard work, Gabe was able to go on in life with those skills and turn it into a career.

The Boys 

He went to Britton Middle School and then on to Live Oak High School, where he met a huge group of boys that he would spend most of his formative years with. There was Brian, Mark, Jesse, Rueben, Jose, David, Rudy, Stoney, Ralphie, Javier, just to name a few, but of course, Sal, his life-long best friend for over 20 years, was always close by.  He had way too much fun in jr. high and high school.

He was known as Big Head to all his friends because he has this huge head, eyes, and smile! A lot of these boys were constants at our home.  They would all be over hanging out, playing video games, and generally being boys.

Our parents split while Gabe was in high school.

What I haven’t mentioned until now is that Gabe was the sensitive one, the one who felt so much more than all of us.  He carried the pain at times for all of us.  His connection to my mother has always been, without a doubt, one of the most precious things about Gabe.  The divorce hurt Gabe because it hurt my mom so deeply

Thank God Marilyn came back to live with us again while they both were in high school!  They both needed each other at that point in their life.

Fresh Prince

They would both come home every day and watch Martin Lawrence, You So Crazy, and Fresh Prince of Bel-air.  I don’t think there will ever be a time that I will hear “in West Philadelphia born and raised” without seeing the two of them rapping and dancing to the show.

Marilyn and Gabe were essentially good kids, but we must remember that they are Yslavas, and Yslavas love to party!  These two daredevils would roll my mom’s car down our acre-long driveway start it at the end of the driveway (so my mom wouldn’t hear) all so they could go out.  Aye, these two! They successfully taught each other how to drive stick shift on the country roads of San Martin.  Did I mention neither was licensed because they were about 14 and 15 years old.  Or they would be in the garage drinking all of my dad’s old alcohol.  My personal favorite is when they would invite their friends over for a party in the hot tub that didn’t get hot!

But seriously, I can’t let them go down like that… I, the licensed driver, would let them drive me around town while I did my make-up in the backseat.  Because I truly thought that was the safer solution.  We were winning at decision-making.

Marilyn and Gabe were truly the best of friends.  They both really loved each other and were there to help one another get through the good and the bad times.  Don’t worry though Marilyn, we will get each other through now.  My eyes will always be on you, my sister!

My brother; a good man

Gabe, of course, was a lady’s man… he even started dating before I did!

It was quite sweet and cute to watch.  He dated quite a few wonderful young ladies while he was in school. He started dating in jr high.  Then in high school, he walked in homecoming court with his beautiful girlfriend, Nikki. But, it wasn’t until Angelica came along that he got serious about a young girl.

He and Angelica were really sweet together.  They went on to date for quite a few years.  She left a huge impression on Gabe, Mom, and me.  We will always love her beautiful soul.

After high school, Gabe decided early on that college wasn’t for him at that time.  So he went to work.  He tried to find something for him.  He really searched for his place in this world.  He dated, hung out with friends, stayed close to family, and searched.

Family Man 

Thank God Gabe stayed close to family. He was everything to my mom; he was a best friend and a confidant.  Those 2 lived together for most of his life.  Even when they weren’t together, though, he made sure to call my mom, if not every day, every other day.  No matter where Gabe was at, he was always connected to our mother.  They shared everything. It truly was a beautiful relationship to be a part of.  Mama, I promise you that I will be a better daughter and take my time with you as Gabe did. I love you!

I got married when Gabe was 21.  Gabe loved Ricky from the start!  Ricky didn’t know what he was in for when he gained a little brother. Gabe and Ricky are the same size, so he would “borrow” Ricky’s clothes, shoes, car… pretty much everything without asking.  Rick’s response would always be, “Gabe, just ask!!  I’ll give you anything.”  It’s because of things like this that Gabe loved Ricky. Gabe never called Ricky his brother-in-law.  He always called him my brother, and they were.

Gabe was so excited about gaining a brother but even more excited about becoming an uncle.  He loved my children.  He loved spending time with them and was so proud of them.  We even named our second child after him. A girl we named Briell. He was proud of us, but we were even more proud of him.  It was an honor to name our child after him.

I remember driving with Gabe to see my dad.  We were talking about his life and the choices he had made.  He was in between girlfriends at the time. He didn’t date just any girl, though.  He dated amazing women, like Tatiana.  Smart, beautiful, and ambitious his 3 favorite qualities. We have loved all of these girls, but he needed to watch out because if he weren’t careful, someone would end up pregnant… he laughed at me as he always did. “Aye, Frenchy! He would say.”

Baby on the way 

Thank God Gabe was not careful, though, because lo and behold, we ended up w/Taylor!  When Gabe and Shannon told us they were going to have a baby, we were shocked but not surprised… and oh so happy for him!  He and Shannon were over the moon excited! Gabe couldn’t wait to be a daddy!
I had the opportunity to be beside my brother and Shannon when Taylor came into this world.  The pride and joy my brother had for his son was that same face I saw on that Christmas day long ago.  Until Taylor came into his life, Gabe hadn’t truly fallen in love with another human being outside of our mother.

Gabe’s excitement about becoming a Daddy was undeniable!  And he was absolutely made to be a father to Taylor!  They were so good together.  Gabe had his mini-me.  They looked alike and dressed alike.  And Taylor idolized his Daddy.  He wanted to be with his Daddy more than anyone else in the world.  What amazed me most is the way these two would look at each other.  The love and admiration they shared for the other was nothing short of beautiful.

Career Man

Gabe got serious about his career, his friends, and who would be in his life as his partner after Taylor.  He focused on a job that suited him.  He was a maintenance manager for different facilities—all that time, working under my dad when we were kids really paid off for him.  There wasn’t much Gabe could not fix.

He went back to school and got his AA degree and various certifications to make him much more viable in the job market.  He was determined to make a better life for his family. This is what Gabe had most in common with our Dad. This undeniable need to do more.

He and my Dad would spend a lot of time planning his next steps.  Gabe would go to my Dad when he had to make major decisions in life. Having my Dad around to ask the tough questions made Gabe stronger and more assured of himself. My Dad is the main reason he furthered his education.  My dad also entrusted him with major decisions of his own.  

Laser Focused 

Having Taylor gave Gabe the direction he truly needed and having my Dad to talk to gave Gabe the confidence he needed to strive for more.  Dad, I, like Gabe, will continue to strive for more.  But this time around, I will make sure to include you as Gabe did.

Unfortunately, Shannon and Gabe did not work out. We were all saddened by this. Taylor wanted his parents together, and Gabe was crushed to say goodbye to the dream of building a family.  This heartbreak took a toll on him.  He really stepped into himself to grieve.

We’re really proud of the way he handled the next step in his life. He took a break from dating for a long while.  It was a couple of years where he stayed single.  He focused on being a Dad and on being himself.  This was huge!  Gabe is someone who dated continuously since he was a teen.  Even dating a few at the same time!

He grew closer to his friends instead.  Sal was always a big part of his life.  This was the time where their relationship flourished.  He really buckled down and grew closer to family.  That was all he wanted, and the Madrigal family provided that for him.  Their consistency was like a north star always guiding him, the ever stronghold that gave him strength. 

Gabe was beyond proud when they asked him to be the Godfather to their precious son Xavier.  Thank you, Sal, for loving my brother and being there by his side no matter what.  Thank you, Sandra, for taking care of all of them.

The One

Gabe, in his search for clarity, took a job in San Francisco.  This was a great time of learning for him.  He really blossomed on his own. This job led him to Vianay.  He was so excited about her!  It had been a long time since he was excited about a girl.

I remember sitting with him at dinner at a crepe place in the city.  He just gushed about Vianay.  We were truly excited to meet her when he finally brought her around. Without a doubt, beautiful, smart, and ambitious. We were all smitten with her and her 3 boys, Osiel, Jarrod, and Justin.

None of us were surprised when Gabe proposed to Vianay on Christmas morning in 2015 in front of all of us.  He was really excited to start a family with her. 

Vianay, on behalf of my family, I just want to say thank you!  Thank you for loving my brother!  Thank you for showing him that he could love again!  You were truly a gift to him.  We will always be here to welcome you with open arms!

Taylor 

You, My Love, are and forever will be your dad’s everything.  You were his best friend, his ride-or-die partner, the love of his life!

You carry on his legacy.  I do not know what you are feeling or going through right now, but know that wherever you are and whatever you do… you are loved, and we, your family, will always be here for you!  We vow to carry on his legacy right along with you!  And I know that your Papa and Uncle Ricky are more than happy to step in as strong father figures.  They cannot take his place, but they will always love you and guide you.

Gabe poured everything into Taylor.  And Gabe as a father has been one of the greatest gifts of my life: the love and care he would take with Taylor, how when you would ask about Taylor, Gabe would light up.  Gabe as a father was a beautiful sight to behold.  I pray that we can carry that on.

Thank you

Shannon, I wanted to say thank you for the gift of Taylor. I know my brother told you more than once that our family will continue to be there for you the rest of your life no matter what.  He loved you more than you know.  This I do promise we will always be here for you unconditionally and forever.  We love you, and you will always have a home with us!

This last week has been one of incredible loss and devastation for our entire family.  Please know that the whole time we have truly felt the presence of God.  He is truly among us, and He has been the whole time.  Upon hearing the news of my his passing, my prayer was God come over me; I am yours.

I prayed these words because they were the first words on my tongue. They have been the starting of my gratitude prayer for over a year now.  I now know I have been praying these words so I would be prepared for this.  Prepared in a way that I would be at peace.  That I would be a beacon of strength for all.

Keep your life so constantly in touch with God that His surprising power can break through at any point.  Live in a constant state of expectancy and leave room for God to come in as he decides….  He is truly breaking through!

Be Not Afraid

The words 'Be Not Afraid' keep on popping into my mind.  I believe they are words directly from my brother.  His death was not in vain.  This I do believe.  His death has caused awakening and healing.  I have witnessed this before my eyes these past couple of weeks. Gabe’s death, well so young, was meant to send a message of hope and peace.  He is calling us all out to be not afraid.  We are not promised tomorrow, only the present.  The time is now to move in love.  Where love is, fear cannot reside!

So today, I am claiming healing for my family.  We are destroying the chains that have bound us. Dreams, whether they be big or small, will come to fruition!  The choice is yours!  You, too, can be a part of this!  All we need do is step out on faith, and the staircase will be revealed.

You may not hear me at this time.  Your heart may be closed to the truth I speak, and that is fine.  But I do promise you, change is coming.  Just watch me!

Until we meet again ❤

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