An Attitude of Gratitude: The First Gift
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An Attitude of Gratitude: The First Gift
Quite a few years ago my brother suddenly passed. He died of an aneurysm, thankfully. This means he did not suffer and he was dead before he even hit the ground. Some may find that information morbid; I find comfort in this knowledge. I know that he was quickly ushered away off of this plane of existence onto the next. We remember him wholly and fully as he was. There is a gift in that. No pain, no hurt, no long months of dying to contend with. And, unfortunately no long goodbye.
The goodbye that I needed came through mourning. It came through the many tears that I let flow. Then came the light. The light only love can bring. Love knows no boundaries, knows no time, knows no limits. It stays with us and transcends all we can ever imagine.
Gift of Perspective
With the light and love came the gifts.
The GIFTS! The gifts! They just kept on coming. I felt him around me working like magic.
The first gift was perspective. I think we all change after death. It affects us deeply. It gets inside our roots, our bones, it changes us. We can choose to let it change us and bring us closer to the light or the darkness. Our choices are placed in front of us. We see life with a different set of eyes and heart.
My appreciation for how fleeting life can be did not come until that moment. Yes, I had lost people in the past. I hadn't lost anyone who was a part of me, who was close in age to me. I had lost my grandparents, like we are supposed to. This time it was my brother, my little brother. He wasn't sick, he didn't choose this, he didn't get into an accident, he just had a small little blood clot burst in the base of his skull. He died just as his life was taking off.
Talk about waking me the hell up! It gave me a deep sense of meaning. I searched far and wide for that meaning in everything. I wanted, I needed to make sense of everything. Well now I completely know...Not everything will ever make sense, no matter how many times you ask. What did start to make sense was my own life and all that I was blessed with. It gave me a deep sense of gratitude.
Era of Oprah
I grew up in the era of Oprah and for years I would hear her talk about an "Attitude of Gratitude." I never really truly understood it. I mean I have always been grateful, like all of us. But nothing before in my life compared to my level of gratitude after. I went to bed most nights in tears. Not just tears of loss and grief. They were tears of joy. Tears of the most complete gratitude I had ever felt before. I was grateful for life, for my beautiful husband, for my resilient children, for the roof over our heads, for the food in our bellies. I was sitting in the "Attitude of Gratitude."
The Gift from Gabe was his death and the perspective it gave to everyone who let it soak in. It changed my life. I miss my brother everyday. I thank him for giving me more than I can imagine. I cannot turn back time and bring him back. What I can do is look forward and make sure that his life was not in vain. That his life adds perspective and gratitude to everyone who knew him. And in turn to everyone that knows me.
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